A blank check (sic) for Irish Banks: Questions.

The good ole Irish taxpayer, in the form of our wise and creative government, decided we will be collectively going guarantor for six Irish Banks, something worth four hundred Billion euro.

Is that 400,000,000,000,000 Euro ?

Which would be approx 565, 627, 000,000,000 Dollars then.

Ahh ok …. Go ahead.

Hold on, wait, erm that’s way more than half what the USA package is, isn’t it ? Seems a tad disproportionate in terms of, what we’ve been assured is a ‘fundamentally sound system’ in a tiny country. ‘The banks’ assets outweigh their debts’ assures Irish Mary, based on what valuation ? their own 100% mortgage repayment percentiles ?

Yes Irish Mary from the international hub of high finance that is count-y Donegal, our beloved minister for enterprise, will be bringing her considerable intellectual weight to the debate, or to paraphrase her morning appearance at Leaders’ questions: ‘ I dunno, Lenihan is the money man, he’ll have plenty of excuses dreamt up by this afternoon to pawn you off’

So we're sort of ‘waiting for Gobshite’, on the main stage, which might mean seeing sideline senators in the Seanad again getting up, repeating media analyst’s comments and passing them off as original representative comments yet again today ? my own ‘borrowed’ favorite being; ‘privatization of profits and nationalization of debt – with sufficient outrage as to make it seem original, what a performance Ivana, how much are you paid to recycle again?

I need someone to explain to me why we are protecting and preserving what appears to me like a flawed greed system, why are we guaranteeing the debts as well as the deposits of banks that dug their own position ? Do they really expect the Irish public to take all this seriously, it might help the banks, its doing nothing for politics or politicians.

Is ‘in labour Eammo’, finally getting a context for his pained oratory delivery, “ I want to know if the foreigners here are now putting their money in our six banks ? Am I guaranteeing them too Mary ? – erm… Brian the brain will be along shortly Mr labour, he’ll answer that question too, did you know his Dad was a great Irish Politician, who CharlieH tried to financially de-liver ? BTW, thanks for alerting them udders on national TV.

“Can I be part of a committee to oversee the blankness of the cheque ?” asked Enda the road of 'Fine slight breeze', “ Ahh go on will ya, do you not know I was nearly tee-shuck one time ?, I could’ve been just as irresponsible as the rest of you, but I have charisma and it’s not a two litre Toyota, guffaw guffaw, mammy, where's mammy ?”

So who will oversee this rushed, panicked, pieced together, slapped up, get our mates outta trouble bit of bed feathering legislation, what’s the exact parameters, can we really do what we want with a gazillion guarantee ? I mean budgets are designed to be over spent aren’t they, surely this is the same thing, a gazillion, a squillion, a half a trillion, 400 billion, what diffierence do the numbers make to ordinary people on under 30k a year ? Let's get this through -- and quick !!

" Hoi’ liddle Irish Paddypeople, don’t forgets, even though you don’t like the lisbonians, you sthill in Europe, talking to da commishon is what you will be doing, don’t be sinking you can do your own dance at our EU funding party liddle paddypeople, you gotta talk to us too you know" – so sayeth EU Competition Commissioner Neelie Kroes, whom I'm sure will need to consult with our very own EU Charlie on big matters.

So maybe the EU will police this whole thing, I certainly hope so, despite their own internal questions about checks and balances and wider trust issues, I think the old better the devil you know attitude is as redundant as the idea that politicians always put 'the peoples' interest first.